she put in her papers..."at an auspicious time"....she said to herself....as she walked down and got lost in the humdrum of the city and the weekday....she wondered what was next. go with the flow was what she'd been doing and probably would do all her life...as she walked past the greens...she noticed couples in all shapes and sizes...all different ages and genders..."...hmm..will i ever feel that " she asked herself...she knew the answer was a dismal negative....despite her superfluous efforts to get an O..or even a hint of desire for anyone or even herself. she had tried everything....it just seemed unreal...or maybe it was real and she got it...but she never even realised it....just like she didn't realise that " just a matter of working out from a new location...without any feelings or passion for it" as she put it, was actually a way of realising that she felt for her work so much that she had to move out in the first place....
..for her though,being blissfully ignorant was what made it unrealistically real..